Cats, a perennial favourite of the pet-owning world, have experienced a rapid increase in popularity over the years. But their reputation remains tarnished, for some, by claims of haughtiness, self-importance and hyper-independence.
Clinical animal behaviourist and expert Amanda Campion is adamant that the creatures are misunderstood and insists they are far more complex than they are given credit for.
In fact, says Campion, the animal’s supposed aloofness simply means that their loyalty is hard-won. Unlike that of their canine counterparts, a cat’s affection is earned through a slow burn of ritual and trust-building.
“Every cat is different, so it’s important to be cat-led,” Campion told The Independent. “Never, ever, compare your cat to somebody else’s because your cat is living its very own individual life just as you are. Be cat-led, respect their needs and boundaries.”
Below, the pet counsellor gave her tips on decoding feline signals – some of which may surprise animal caregivers.
1. Physical touch
One of the most obvious signs that your cat likes you is them touching you. Sometimes that could be in surprising ways such as through what Campion calls “love bites” (different to nips, which can indicate that they want to stop playing), or by kneading, or “making biscuits”.
The expert says that kneading is a “throwback to when the kitten was with its mother and would tread on the milk duct to stimulate the milk flow”. Another way could be through head bumps: “It’s twofold as they are also marking you with their scent from their facial pheromones as well,” she says.
2. Proximity
Sometimes cats that are less physically affectionate express their fondness indirectly. They could come and sit on you to show you they want to be near you, but other times they may want to keep their distance, but hangout nearby.
“Every cat is different, so some cats might actually want to be close to you by sitting on you, some of them might want to be further away,” she said. Others may prefer to sit on discarded items of clothing that smell like their loved ones.
3. Letting their guard down
Cats are known for having quick reflexes: they’re wily and discerning and always have their wits about them. As predators, it’s rare for them to let their guard down. But, if your pet slow-blinks, in contrast to having their eyes open wide and dilated, this could be a sign that they love you. A slow blink or a “cat kiss” is a sure way to tell that your cat trusts you.
Another way for them to show their vulnerability is by displaying their belly. While for some that’s an invitation for a belly rub, for other pets it’s enough to show their tummy without it going further.
4. Showing off
Having their tail up “loud and proud” is another way that cats can show you that they love you. “Some cats will just run up to you with a very loud and proud tail, and that’s their level of excitement, just to see their primary caregiver as they come through the front door after a day at work.”
They can do that through bringing you gifts or toys too, showing you that they appreciate you and may want to play with you.
How to build a better relationship with your cat
If your cat isn’t showing these signs, then all hope is not lost. Campion says that most problems between cats and humans can be resolved through better education on the part of animal caregivers. “Over 97 per cent of the time, if a cat is unhappy, it’s a cat with a problem rather than a problem cat,” she says.
Factors including their early attachment style, whether they have been socialised around men or children, and even their breed can all affect affection levels, so it’s important to not take it personally. Campion advises understanding all you can about a cat’s “antecedents”, their early life and background, if you decide to adopt a rescue cat.
It’s also important to ensure you have the basics down, before aiming higher. “The first thing that we can do is make sure that all of their welfare needs are being met,” says Campion. “Make sure they have clean water and food facilities. The emphasis is on clean. Many people will just have a water bottle and tip the water out and put fresh water in, but have they actually cleaned the bottle?”
She continues: “Hygiene standards are really important when you have cats. If it was your child, would you expect them to eat off that dirty plate or drink water from that bowl? If the answer is no, then you really need to elevate your husbandry. Make sure they have clean litter facilities and quiet time. Don’t disturb them when they’re napping.”
In addition to cleanliness and alone time, she recommends play. “When we play with them we’re encourage predatory behaviour that enables them to be a cat,” she says.
But above all, Campion insists you have to get to know your cat personally, as a being with their own temperament, personality, history, tastes and desires. “Get to know them,” she advises. “You’ve got to decode your cat’s behaviour. You’ve got to get to know all these little intricacies that make up your cat’s personality.”
